Deadspin is pleased to announce our 2016 Bear of the Year. After a great deal of consideration and deliberation, we arrived at a clear choice: Bear Who Was Covered In Shit And Pissed. Bear Who Was Covered In Shit And Pissed saw some chickens, and because he was hungry, he attempted to eat those chickens. If a bear is to survive in the harsh wilds, it must eat. Something went wrong, and instead of feasting on chickens Bear Who Was Covered In Shit And Pissed found himself stuck inside of a very large septic tank. What is life but a series of stumbles into calamities that keep you from the existence you think you deserve? Debased, frightened, and humiliated, Bear Who Was Covered In Shit And Pissed was eventually freed from the tank by a crew of helpful construction workers. The bear ran…
We're only six weeks into the NFL season, but Levi Brown and Mike Goodson already finished theirs due to injuries incurred in Sunday's Steelers-Jets game. Whose season sucked more? Arizona Cardinals offensive tackle Levi Brown was traded to the Steelers for a conditional draft pick on Oct. 2, because Pittsburgh desperately needed line help so Ben Roethlisberger wouldn't get knocked into the Monongahela. Brown hurt his tricep while warming up before Sunday's game (Pittsburgh had a Week 5 bye) and was placed on injured reserve. He hadn't played a snap. The "good" news? Because Brown didn't spend five weeks on the active roster, the Steelers don't have to give the Cardinals a draft pick. Running back Mike Goodson kicked off his Jets career wit…
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. 1. IMPOSTORS. Ever see one of those shitty movies where a child goes missing for years, and then he returns to his parents and everyone is happy, until the parents soon realize that Little Junior wasn't quite the same as before? His mannerisms are a bit off. He seems detached. Sometimes, at night, they find him sharpening a saw in the basement. Then they realize that the child isn't their child at all. It's a fucking cyborg disguised as a kid, or they realize the kid has been possessed by a three-horned sand demon. That's the New Brown…
Although the bobblehead craze has pretty much swept the globe, countries generally do not use them to select their leaders; well, except for Spain. But perhaps they should. In 2004, a series of Minor League Baseball bobblehead promotions correctly predicted the U.S. Presidential Election, when other so-called polling experts didn't have a clue. And now the promotion is back, as six Class A and Independent League teams stage Bobblection 2008. Barack Obama or John McCain? This week, you choose. The fun begins tonight in Fishkill, N.Y., as the Hudson Valley Renegades (Class A, New York-Penn League) take on the Vermont Lake Monsters at Duchess Stadium. The process is simple, and goes like this:
As fans pass through the turnstiles, they will be directed to election booths where they’…
data-mm-id=”_58ktr5pbc”>Dallas Keuchel has become the first former Houston Astros player to publicly apologize for the franchise's sign-stealing scandal. Hopefully the new Chicago White Sox pitcher will not be the last.Keuchel won the American League Cy Young Award as a member of the Astros in 2015 and was a key part of their World Series win in 2017. So he was obviously part of the team during the heat of the sign-stealing scandal.On Friday, Keuchel didn't go into details about his level of involvement, but he admitted the sign-stealing scheme was wrong at his new team's SoxFest fan convention. Here's what he had to say about it:”“First and foremost I think apologies should be in order for, if not everybody on the team. It was never intended to be what it is made…
data-mm-id=”_crdwtm9qk”>A virtual NFL Draft is a novelty for all parties involved and presents pitfalls and obstacles that affect each team in equal measure, no matter where they fall on the draft board or the map of the country. Every general manager across the NFL is trying to compensate in their own ways for the shortcomings of virtual meetings with their coworkers and potential draft picks. Dave Gettleman, noted Luddite, told reporters on a conference call Monday that the Giants are making things work on the technology side, and in the grand scheme of things the problems they're facing pale in comparison to the larger issues facing the rest of the world. He did note that these virtual meetings come at the cost of a certain amount of personal touch, though. Seeing prospects thr…
data-mm-id=”_qwex1exgc”>Danny Green has struggled in the NBA's Orlando bubble. A man brought to the Los Angeles Lakers to provide defense and hit shots has only been getting half the job done. If the Lakers truly have designs on winning a championship this year, Green is going to need to make shots. LeBron James and the Lakers desperately needed to find shooting this offseason. Green seemed like a perfect fit. He hit 45.5 percent from 3-point range during the 2018-19 season, helping the Toronto Raptors bring home their first title. Green entered the season hitting 40.4 percent from beyond the arc for his career. With Anthony Davis occupying space in the post, and LeBron James driving at his usual pace, the Lakers needed guys who could spot up and knock down shots. That would theor…
data-mm-id=”_cf9hqcx8w”>Sen. Elizabeth Warren's name has been rumored as one that's going to find itself on the masthead of Joe Biden's administration. If that does happen, there will be an opening for Charlie Baker, the Republican governor of the state, to appoint a new person to the U.S. Senate until a special election can be held. Writing for the Lowell Sun today, Peter Lucas surveys the long view and suggests that a certain local celebrity would be perfect for the role. Bill Belichick. Why? Lucas has a very specific reason.”Coach Belichick comes to mind as a worthy replacement because he is one of the few well-known public figures to urge the U.S. to act against increasingly dictatorial Turkey, as well as Azerbaijan, for their recent attack on Armenia.”Belichick, who…
data-mm-id=”_dv7lfy0vi”>Only about 60 percent of participants were able to complete their third round in the NCAA Division III Women’s Golf Championship due to an extremely frustrating yet obectively funny situation with the 308-yard, par-4 sixth at Mission Inn and Resort’s El Campeon Course in Howey-in-the-Hills, Florida. That situation? Lining up and converting any putt was an exercise in frustration and failure. Round 3 of the NCAA D3 Women’s Golf Championship was canceled (with nearly 60% of the field finished) because of this hole location, which the NCAA deemed “unplayable.”Story: https://t.co/lJdUMFYQDc pic.twitter.com/rrsZg2ySIS— Brentley Romine (@BrentleyGC) May 12, 2023Some more context, via Golf Channel:The NCAA is responsible for placing the pins each round, not…